The Invisible Load of Motherhood—And How Therapy Can Help
You wake up already thinking about the day ahead. Lunches need packing, the pediatrician needs calling, and you still haven’t responded to that one work email. You’re juggling everyone’s needs, moods, schedules, and preferences—all while trying to remember when you last had a moment to yourself.
If that sounds familiar, you're carrying what's often called the invisible load of motherhood. And you are not alone.
What Is the Invisible Load?
The invisible load refers to the constant, behind-the-scenes mental, emotional, and logistical labor that many mothers shoulder each day. It’s not the physical tasks themselves—it’s the never-ending planning, remembering, and anticipating that comes with managing a household and caring for others.
Think of it like this:
You remember when the baby’s next nap is due.
You know which child doesn’t like peanut butter and which one forgot their homework last week.
You feel responsible for how everyone else in the house is feeling.
No one else sees this mental checklist. You just do it. And while you’re doing it, you might be smiling through exhaustion, wondering if you’re doing enough—or worse, feeling guilty for even wondering.
How the Invisible Load Affects Mothers
Many moms I work with describe feeling overwhelmed, even when they haven’t “done” anything yet that day. That’s because the invisible load is mentally exhausting. It creates a sense of constant alertness, where your mind is always scanning for what’s next, who needs what, and how to keep everything (and everyone) functioning.
Some common signs that you’re carrying the invisible load:
You feel anxious the moment your feet hit the floor in the morning.
You have trouble relaxing even when you technically have free time.
You’re quick to anger or irritability but don’t know why.
You feel emotionally drained—even when the house looks “fine.”
And maybe hardest of all? You feel like no one around you sees just how much you’re doing.
Why We Don’t Talk About It
There’s a cultural narrative that mothers are supposed to handle it all—with a smile, no less. The idea that asking for help is a weakness still lingers in subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways.
So instead of saying, “I’m struggling,” many moms push through.
But the truth is, carrying all of this on your own doesn’t make you stronger—it just makes you exhausted.
What Happens When the Load Goes Unacknowledged
When the invisible load is left unchecked, it can lead to:
Chronic stress or anxiety
Emotional burnout
Resentment in relationships
Loss of identity beyond being “Mom”
Over time, this emotional weight doesn’t just affect your well-being—it can also affect your ability to be present and connected with the people you care most about.
But here’s the good news: You don’t have to keep carrying this alone.
How Therapy Can Help Lighten the Load
Therapy gives you something you may not have had in a while: space.
It’s a place where your needs, thoughts, and emotions are centered—without judgment. A place where you can speak freely about what you’re holding, and start learning how to put some of it down.
Here’s how therapy can support you:
Validation: You’ll hear, “That makes sense,” not “Why can’t you handle it?”
Emotional processing: We’ll talk through the guilt, frustration, and exhaustion that often come with motherhood.
Boundary-setting tools: You’ll learn how to ask for help in a way that feels respectful and empowering.
Identity work: You’ll reconnect with who you are, outside of being a caregiver.
If you’re curious about the therapy services I offer, I invite you to explore my services here.
What to Expect in Therapy with Me
My name is Dr. Liana Lorenzo-Echeverri, LMFT, and I specialize in supporting moms and moms-to-be through the emotional ups and downs of motherhood. I offer Telehealth therapy throughout Florida, so you can meet with me from the comfort of your home, office, or even your parked car (yes, that happens—and it’s completely okay!).
You don’t need to be in crisis to start therapy. In fact, many of the moms I work with just want a space to breathe, reflect, and feel seen.
You can learn more about me and my approach on my About page.
Ready to Put Some of the Load Down?
If you’ve been carrying the mental and emotional weight of motherhood alone, it’s okay to ask for support. Therapy doesn’t make your responsibilities disappear—but it does help you feel more capable, more grounded, and more like yourself.
You don’t have to keep managing in silence.
When you’re ready, I’m here. Reach out today to book a free consultation or learn more.
You deserve support—not just as a mom, but as a whole person. Let’s make space for you, too.
